There's a hole inside Canberra cyclist Mathew Hayman where the Tour de France should be - a hole he knows might never be filled.
While Hayman was still coming to terms with being forced to withdraw from his first Tour, fellow Canberran Michael Matthews has already switched his focus to adding some world champion stripes to his Orica-GreenEDGE jersey after he crashed out of his debut Tour before it even began.
The pair were meant to be roommates as veteran Hayman looked to add a Tour finish to his resume.
His strength has been the one-day classics, like the cobble-stoned hell that is the Paris-Roubaix, but finally after 16 years as a professional, the opportunity arose for Hayman to try his hand at the world's most famous race.
It had been his dream to ride the Tour, but as the peloton was preparing to ride into Paris for the final stage, Hayman was already home in Belgium having a break before getting ready for the San Sebastian Classic.
He raced until the 10th stage, when two bad days in the saddle forced an emotional Hayman to step off the bike and into the team car - his dream turning into a nightmare. An over-enthusiastic race official almost copped it after trying to take Hayman's numbers off his back.
Hayman was unsure if he would ever get the chance to ride the Tour again. This year's route took in the cobbles of the Paris-Roubaix, which made his experience invaluable.
But whether he gets the chance again will depend solely on what his team wants.
He still doesn't know what caused his body to meltdown and will continue to look for answers.
While he still started the Tour and rode in front of the record crowds of the first few stages in England, not finishing has left him shattered.
"Everything goes through your head, it's something I've wanted to do for years - not only start but get to Paris ... but that hasn't happened," Hayman said.
"I appreciate that I at least got to start and experience racing in the UK with those crowds. But I still feel like there's a bit of a hole there ... [after] the waiting that I've done for years to get there."
While Hayman was forced to withdraw, his GreenEDGE teammate Matthews never even got to the start line. A crash just days before the Tour started left him with stitches in the palm of his hand and holes in an arm and leg.
Big things were expected from the 23-year-old after he claimed two stage wins in the Giro d'Italia.
Now the man known as Bling has set his sights on stage wins in the Vuelta a Espana and trying to become world champion in Spain in September.
Hayman said the course suited Matthews, who can mix it with the sprinters but can also handle a hilly terrain.
Matthews is doing altitude training in Lavinia, getting ready for the Tour of Poland before he heads to Spain.
"I'll be going into the Vuelta with good form and hopefully get some results and then try and keep it going all the way through to the worlds," Matthews said.
"It would be nice to come out the end of that day with some stripes [a world champion], but we've got to think about the small things to lead to the big things."
Matthews labelled Michael Rogers' stunning stage win as incredible. He went mountain biking with his coach, but returned in time to watch Rogers dash away on the final descent to victory.
"When I saw him in the breakaway, it was always going to be hard to beat him when he's that determined to prove to everyone how good a bike rider he is," Matthews said.
"To stay there all the way to the finish with those climbs, to win it the way he did, full respect to him. There's not many guys in the peloton who could come back after the start he had to the season."
